Motorbike through the African wilderness

On a road bound to nowhere the crew ventured into the African wilderness. 

Leaving home as boys, returning as men.

Iphone users: watch on youtube

Want to rent a motorbike in Tanzania: Dustbusters

 

 

 

Windmills and the black terror

Some years back a danish man moved to Tanzania, started producing windmills and doing what he does best, riding his motorbike. We found him, rented some bikes only to realized that many of us had never driven such a device, ending us up stranded after a couple of hundred metres. We all started to wonder if ever we’d get into the wilds. Then the black terror struck. Masai kids dressed up in black cloth with white ritual facepaint silently stood on a hilltop pointing out the direction. Trust me; if a kid like this ever points at anything, you go.

Obeying orders and following directions

Great Rift Valley

Hakuna matata, then it started to rain

Their directions led us away from civilization and into the Great Rift Valley. A wide open landscape where a feeling of freedom and childish joy surmounted to the ridicules. Our view on the Masai was soon to be partially fixed, as we got stuck in a river gorge with no crossing point, a random consortium of warriors – yes they had recently been in a fight - and yes they’d won it. But no blue paint and no awesome spear wounds were to be seen?

It was in every way Hakuna Matata, we had real spearmen carrying our bikes. #just chilling

As the dark came, we managed to settle a huge debate raging in the group:  what’s the best while cruising around in the great swaths of Africa - a tent or a hammock? Well it turns out there’s no two trees that can provide a decent fitting for a hammock and we are in the middle of rain season. The two guys with tents won that discussion, while the rest got drenched in a downpour that sent us into a sleepless night full of hypothermia.

Waking in drenched sleeping bags to about thirty Masai encircling our camp silently watching us.  #thatfeeling

Native guidance

Some moments stick to your mind forever. We got two of the Masai to be our guides through some rough terrain. Here’s a list of things to do while being guided by a Masai:
    •    Race with giraffes, zebras and ostriches
    •    Visit Masai’s family in a cow dung house
    •    Respectfully handshake a nice old Masai
    •    Build lion shelter of thorn bushes
    •    Put mosquito oil in places it doesn’t belong
    •    Slaughter a goat
    •    Eat goat quickly so lions won’t smell it
    •    Sing psalms in Swahili under the stars with the Masai

Vehicle breakdown, into the abyss and beyond

The going was slow and the fear of separation was strong. We finally made some headway driving up a dried out riverbed. We drove into a huge mountain gorge filled with baboons, made camp and lit a mighty fire to scare away any cat animals lurking about in the dark. Next day Asgaut’s tire hose flared wide open: vehicle one wrecked. With no proper tools and no fitting hose, we had to mark it on our GPS and leave it. We continued on for a couple of hours, till the bike carrying two also punctured.
We had five bikes for seven people, a mere 4 liters of water, no food. We did what we could: split up.

 

 

What to do in a death camp:

    •    Try out every Bear Grylls trick you know
    •    Get a panic attack and fall to sleep
    •    Save energy and don’t move for 12 hours straight
    •    Finally get to use your Hammock
    •    Cry like a little baby

Death camp

WTF Bear Grylls, you said this was supposed to work!?

What to do while trying to save your friends in the middle of nowhere:

    •    Meet a cliff with no way around it
    •    Ditch bikes, climb the cliff and walk on
    •    Hear goat bells, think really hard
    •    Realize bells means people, find village
    •    Buy LOADS of water and borrow tools from a kid
    •    Save friends

Survival mission

Bike repairs and goat murder

Together once again, the ones with energy set out to repair the ditched bike. Having a hose a couple of inches to short and no tools except some worn out metal rods borrowed from a kid it looked bleak.

Somehow we got a 17" hose onto a 21" tire with our bare hands and some stone age tools.

Feeling our luck had been tested enough for a while we drove on full speed to make it back home. The way around the mountain was a tough one, with the “road” being nothing more than a million stones in different shapes and sizes making a “solid” foundation. Past that we drove into an incredible terrain, dried mud paths led into a forest that made one think of Chewbaccas home planet, epic!

Civilization, where art thou?

Sacrifice always has been a price for civilization listing Agamemnon’s daughter, Abraham’s sheep and Hannibal’s bull. In our rush to get back home Thomas ran down a helpless poor goat by accident.